Episode 58: Mermaids are totally real

No they're not. But in my latest podcast, my co-host delves deep into the world of fake documentaries, particularly Animal Planet's amazing two-part "scientific" series that drew millions of Americans in the wild, wonderful and completely fake world of fish people. The Nerd Out's Lisa Jenkins admits she's kinda mesmerized by what Animal Planet has accomplished...and reveals just how devious such shows can be.

Plus!

A listener writes in to ask whether anyone who has ever worked as a production assistant ever gets anywhere in this cruel business of show. The answer is: Yes. There is hope for you, Mother of a Son Who Just Quit College and Moved to Los Angeles.

Also!

We ponder why tentpole movies seem to be getting longer. Or are they? Or do I maybe need to do more research on this?

 And!

We introduce a new segment bound to please fans of horror or genre TV in general. And Jenkins offers a basketful of celebrity sightings. (If you're headed to Los Angeles and are wondering where the smart celebs really go hiking, this is the episode for you.)

Have a listen.

Episode 57: Know thine Emmy

The Emmy nominations are out! And they're as confusing and poorly reasoned as an episode of The Strain! 

But fret not, TV watchers. You have questions about why the nominations came down the way they did, and I have answers. This whole episode is dedicated to your queries about the 66th Annual Emmy Awards. Bonus points to me for managing to mention Murder She Wrote, Cher and Julia Duffy in an episode that–I swear–was taped in 2014. Yesterday, in fact.

Wondering how Martin Freeman qualifies as a supporting actor for Sherlock but as a lead in Fargo? I found out for you. 

Confounded by the fact that Jon Hamm looks like he does, and acts like he does, and still has no Emmys? There's a reason for that. And I deliver it unto you.

Or maybe you're just in the mood for a truly greedy little blind item. I've got a great one for you this week. Short version: TV hosts aren't exactly brilliant in the math department.

Enjoy.

Episode 56: Mashugana gigolo

Happy week of Fourth of July! Nothing says American independence like showing up at a synagogue and strippin’ down, amiright, fellow patriots? This week’s podcast features a nifty celebrity sighting that, if not red or white, is certainly blue. Find out which star recently shot a film at a synagogue, and used one of the offices as a changing room before settling down and taking a good old, all-American nap under the congregation’s tree.

Plus!

Casting expert Bonnie Gillespie of Cricket Feet explains the likely real reason why we won’t be seeing Zendaya Coleman play Aaliyah in that upcoming Lifetime biopic. (Hint: It’s got nothing to do with fan backlash or skin color.)

And!

A listener writes in asking if we’ll ever see another episode of Cosmos again. (Another hint: The universe doesn’t really update all that fast.)

Have a listen, my fellow Yankees!

Episode 55: I'm alive, thanks for asking

I’m back with a brand-new podcast, people! For those of you who voiced concern over the utterly vicious, Uruk-Hai army of a head cold I had last week—and to those three of you, thank you—know that I am back. I am alive. I am ready to, once again, answer your questions about what’s really going on in show business.

As promised, this week I dig deeper into the Hollywood Black List, the annual survey of the most popular scripts that, for whatever reason, have yet to make it to the big screen. As Black List founder Franklin Leonard tells me this week, if you’ve been to the movies recently, chances are, you’ve seen a Black List script. Why do so many future Oscar-winning films end up on the Black List? Wouldn’t a project with Oscar potential shoot straight to the top of the production schedule? You’d be surprised. Listen to learn more.

Also!

• Game of Thrones obsessives Sean Serino and Nerd Out co-host Lisa B. Jenkins critique the recent season finale, including the producers' decision to leave out that really big plot point from the books.
• Inside dish on how children are cast for massive touring musicals. (Hint: They’re children. They're all the same.)
• Plus! The real reason why someone like Kendall Jenner gets to walk the red carpet at Cannes and you don’t.

Have a listen! I’ll be over here. Hacking up a lung. No, no. Go. Go on without me. Save yourselves.

Episode 54: Never change, Gold Pants

If you've ever wondered why so many pop stars like to compare themselves to slaves–I'm looking at you, Prince–this is the episode for you. Yes, famous musicians are insanely rich, so rich that they can wear mountie hats made by Vivienne Westwood and not lose any of their friends.

But that doesn't mean that record labels are beneficent overlords. They're pretty cut-throat when it comes to money, actually. Spurred on by listener James L. and assisted by music industry vet Lisa Jenkins (co-host of The Nerd Out), I dig deep into the cesspool of the music industry to explain precisely how cut-throat we're talkin'.

Also this week: Another listener wrote in to ask what this here Hollywood Black List is all about. So I answer that question too.

But maybe you're not into the music industry. Maybe you don't care about record labels. Or black lists. Maybe you don't even care about Prince, which would make you a hater of America and all things funky, by the way.

Maybe–maybe–all you care about are dudes in gold sequined pants. If that's the case, you have something in common with a certain Saturday Night Live alumna who happened to hang out on a stage with my co-host earlier this month. My co-host was wearing gold sequined pants at the time, see, the very garment you see in this photo. And then....

Oh, just listen, already. It's pure–well, gold.

Episode 53: Starving artistes

This week I promised you a podcast jam-packed with answers to your burning Hollywood questions, and here it is. Red carpet reporter and reality TV obsessive Lawrence Yee joins me for this episode, in which…

• A listener named Kaitlin wonders what goes on behind the scenes whenever a star appears on a talk show. (Hint: Absolutely nothing that hasn’t be pre-approved by at least 6 people.) And by the way: The typical talk show guest makes more in a day than many people make in a week. God bless America!
• Fame Fatale fan Julia expresses grave worry over poor, bony Matt Bomer in The Normal Heart. And I do nothing to curtail that worry. In fact, I disclose that some actors undergo 300-calorie-a-day diets to get that thin. And, yes, says JJ Virgin, nutritionist and author of The Virgin Diet, that’s hella dangerous.
• Yet another listener asks for advice on resurrecting a TV show that should probably stay dead. Is there anything she can do?

It’s all ready for you.

Episode 52: Heads in the Sandler

Adam Sandler’s latest movie has a Rotten Tomatoes metascore lower than Jennifer Lopez’s necklines, at 15 percent. (For the record, the film, which Shall Not Be Named, is also a flop, having earned a mere $14.3 million since it opened.) This isn’t the first Sandler film to spur film critics to hastily empty their popcorn onto the theater floor so they’ll have something absorbent to heave into; Jack and Jill merited a mere 3 percent in 2011. And then there was That’s My Boy, co-starring comedy ripoff artist Andy Samberg. Nothing else need be said.

And yet Sandler just keeps on working. He has no fewer than four more films in the offing. Two are in post; two are currently being forged by Sauron in the Cracks of Doom. (If that fact doesn’t have you running scared, consider: Per IMDB Pro, Sandler is threatening us with no fewer than 13 future movies in various stages of development, including one with the tentative tag of Untitled Stephen Dorff Project.)

How does this person keep getting jobs? That’s not me asking the question to myself. A listener wrote in with the same very excellent question. And I answer it in my latest episode like it’s my job. ’Cause it is.

Also in this new edition!

• Original Bitchling Matt Donnelly returns, joining me in a brand-new, extremely sexy Cage Match.
• I explain why even Good Witch (Evil Witch?) Angelina Jolie cannot impose legal gag orders on her children.
• We read your letters!

Have a listen.

Episode 51: NCISTFU

It’s been roughly 8 months, and actress Cote de Pablo has yet to reveal what really led to her departure from oldster favorite NCIS. Indeed, with few exceptions, there's been a nearly Beyonce-level silence about what led the ersatz Israeli to up and leave Scoob and the gang all sudden-like. Listener Kristy wrote in to ask why our favorite Chilean rock-and-roll military crime fighter might be giving us such a silent treatment. And I answer that question like it’s my job. Because it is.

Also this week!

• I explain why I’m all alone in my studio, talking to myself. Crime is involved.
• I patiently break down why Kim Kardashian, who reportedly is charging eight figures for broadcast rights to her wedding, is very likely already married.
• I dish out a blind item draped in a burkha.

Plus so much more!

Episode 50: Jane Lynchburg lemonade

Congratulations to me. The Fame Fatale turns 50 this week! Sort of! This marks our 50th episode. I wanted to celebrate. But I had so much hot Hollywood info to share with you that I kind of forgot to get bombed on champagne. (Looks like Episode 51 is gonna be all kinds of raucous. I apologize to my liver in advance.)

In this edition:

• Baby Vegas has a hot (yoga) encounter with a star from Glee.
• I get a misdirected email meant for the publicist of a movie actress. And the contents of that email reveal quite a bit about how stars stay rich. Or, at least, well dressed.
• A reader asks whether the alcohol is real on Hollywood Game Night. And I find out from someone who’s been on the set.
• I gently break the news to sexually threatened straight men everywhere: Ben Affleck is officially smart. And I have proof.
• Plus: Your letters! 

Episode 49: Voice recognition

Remember Brandon Chase, that cute l’il country singer from Texas who set off not one but two buzzers during last season’s The Voice? He may not have won, but so what? This is a guy who already had sold 20,000 records before show producers even invited him to audition.

What’s that you say? You didn’t know that Voice contestants often skip the cattle call lines and go straight to top of the audition heap via direct invitations from casting directors?

It’s true. And it happens much more often than you might think.

Chase visited Los Angeles recently to promote his new single, “One.” He sat down with me for an interview at the bustling Paper or Plastik Cafe, right around the corner from my recording studio, to discuss that single, plus, of course, what it’s really like to audition for The Voice. (Hint: If you’re not ready to spend three months living in a hotel room being groomed for a single TV appearance, go home now.)

What else have I got for you this episode?

How about a highly contagious Baby Vegaz? A ridiculously sad blind item? A truly meaty Cage Match? And an answer to listener Robert Gervais’s question about why, nearly 76 years after he first debuted, Superman is still locked down by copyright kryptonite?

Have a listen!

Episode 48: Big, gay Hollywood sex parties

No, I'm not talking about Coachella, though that could fall under the above category. I speak of the big gay Hollywood sex parties that are all the rage among breathless reporters, ever since news broke that a onetime underage boy is suing mega-director Bryan Singer. The allegations: That Singer invited the young actor to a big gay industry party, and then sexually abused him.

For this episode, I speak with someone who actually has attended soirees at Bryan Singer's place. Yep, they're big and gay and Hollywood, all right. But they may not necessarily be the wretched hive of scum and villainy that plaintiff Michael Egan implies. Do you believe Egan or Singer, who denies the accusation? Listen to party eyewitness and podcast favorite Guy Branum, and then decide for yourself.

And what else have I got for you in this episode?

How about the answer to your question about Katherine Heigl and her new paparazzi-related lawsuit? (That's right: Someone actually took a picture of Katherine Heigl, and then sold it for money.)

Also! Yeah, I have dish from Coachella, including perhaps the nicest celebrity that the harsh, forbidding desert has ever seen. Thanks to Nerd Out co-host and Coachella insider Lisa B. Jenkins for her firsthand report.

Plus! One very hairy blind item!

Let's commence to listenin'!

Episode 47: Oi, you lot! It's the UK edition!

That headline up there’s for my new UK fans. I now appear weekly on iTV’s This Morning, see, and I need to do all I can to charm the home of wee Prince George and the beans and toast. If you’ve seen me on Friday’s Showbiz Showdown, and you’ve been curious about me gobby podcast, welcome to The Fame Fatale, innit?

This week’s bits ’n’ bobs:

• A reader asks whether the Divergent films might be saved by an ending less rubbish than the source material. And I find out, like.
• Another reader wonders why we’re seeing Justin Bieber’s todger on video. And so I learnt why.
• And still another reader pings me about how much Anna Kendrick got paid to go on Saturday Night Live and whinge about not getting paid. And have a guess! I suss it out!

And still more tosh: How many barmy hairdressers it takes to make a celebrity ginge. Why Frozen really ain't all that cracking. And Baby Vegas is back, well-nigh starkers as usual. 

Bob's your uncle! And he's a tosser! So have a butcher's!

Episode 46: The GOOP defense

Now that Gwyneth Paltrow has consciously uncoupled, it’s time to talk about the purposeful divorce and volitional single life that will likely follow. Will GOOP be able to expand her rabid fan base of urban backyard beekeepers and kale juice enthusiasts? Or will her haters increase their number, swelling into a mob that stages barely civil, bonfire-sized burnings of organic cotton T-shirts and reclaimed wooden cutting boards?

If you have high hopes for the latter outcome, you’re not alone. One of my loyal listeners can’t stand Paltrow, either. But why? In this new episode, we delve into the phenomenon of Gwyneth haters, with a little defensive help from someone who has met her.

Also in this edition:

• The real-life Ray Donovan, and how to write to him in jail
• Who gets paid whenever Rihanna sings a hook that isn’t hers
• I read your letters in a brand-new segment with a fresh, shiny sound cue and everything
• You requested her. I went and got her. O.B. (Original Bitchling) Drink of Water is in the studio!

Have at it!

Episode 45: The Yellow King is dead, long live the king

So True Detective is over. Now what am I supposed to overanalyze on Reddit? Sure, the food on Hannibal looks amazing, but the show lacks that certain je-ne-sais-Carcosa. I need a crime TV fix, people!

Luckily, I have a friend in Nancie Clare, founder of the forthcoming Speaking of Mysteries blog and podcast. When it comes to ferreting out the best in crime TV and books, Clare is the Rust Cohle—the most dogged of them all. And she just happens to be my special guest co-host this week, dishing on exactly what you need to be watching next (and reading, now that Malcolm McKay, author of the breakout Glasgow Trilogy of crime novels, doesn’t have anything new on the shelves this very second).

What else do I have for you this week? 

Ever wonder if those pricey makeup brands—the ones so often slathered on celebrities during the Oscars—are really worth it? For the next several weeks, I’ll be drilling down on a variety of beauty categories, getting the straight dish from top-of-the-line red carpet makeup artists about what they really carry around in their handbags. And it ain’t always the spendiest of balms.

Plus! TV industry vet Marrissa O’Leary answers a question that you yourself have probably wondered—that is, if you’ve ever watch the end credits of a network TV show. O’Leary, a former head of business affairs for not one but two major TV production studios, dips into her vast pool of knowledge—and shares wisdom from a couple of her favorite showrunners, John Rogers and Javier Grillo-Marxuach—to answer a burning question from listener AdamX6000.

Enjoy!

Episode 44: SXSWTF

In case you’ve stepped away from Twitter for more than eight seconds, the South by Southwest festival continues apace in Austin. (Can't understand what I'm saying? Here: #SXSW is happening in #Austin.)

If you remain unimpressed by this festival of music and interactive shenanigans and Justin Bieber, you are not alone. A loyal listener wrote in essentially asking me to please explain WTF is the deal with SXSW. With the help of music industry veteran and Nerd Out podcast co-host Lisa Jenkins, I do just that in this latest episode.

Plus! Four of your lingering Oscar questions answered…and Lisa reveals her ideal four-man sandwich. Is your favorite hunky celeb among the fixins? Find out by hitting the play button!

Episode 43: American pie (with extra cheese)

Now that the Oscars are over, can we talk about that cheesy pizza that Ellen Degeneres had delivered in the middle of the telecast? Answer Dad loved that stunt. Thought it was brilliant comedy. I was more curious about the pizza itself—whether the whole jape was real, an elaborate bit of theater, or just an excuse for Jennifer Lawrence to actually get to eat something on Oscar night. So I found out for you. (Bonus fact: Scuttlebutt among rival pizza makers in Los Angeles is that Lawrence’s slice was—and I quote—“crap.” I'm just relaying what I heard, so don't shoot the messenger. Unless, of course, that messenger is delivering crap pizza.)

What else have I got for you this week?

• Tons of little-to-unknown dish about how things really work behind the scenes at the Oscars and the after-parties!
• A takedown on the best and worst of the Oscars gowns with the help of seasoned entertainment reporter Lawrence Yee!
• Exactly how much the money breakout star from Captain Phillips has in his pocket right now…and whether that pocket even belongs to him!

Have a listen!

Episode 42: Rent-a-neck

It’s the last podcast before the Oscars! Ever wonder how actresses choose one obscene diamond necklace over another obscene diamond necklace before hitting a red carpet? Here’s a hint: Which jeweler is willing to pay the actress the most?

It’s the dirty, increasingly open secret of Oscar season: The red carpet fashion pay-for-placement game. Top designers shell out six to seven figure sums just so that an A-list actress will wear their earrings or bracelets, or even their gowns. True. In this special Oscar-packed episode, I dish all the details—including which top actress reportedly charges $1 million to wear a single bracelet.

Also this week!

• Baby Vegas is back!
• As promised, we bring in not Answer Dad, but Answer MOM, to rate the hotness of the men of Downton Abbey
• I explain how any fatty—meaning any Hollywood actress over a size 2—ever manages to find a dress for the Oscars
• I throw down in a particularly gruesome Cage Match. And there’s a twist: Baby Vegas’s little sister, Baby Baby Vegas, must choose a winner. 

Episode 41: Blue valentines

It’s Valentine’s Day week. In honor of the holiday, I bring you a podcast filled with as much bile and cynicism as I can possibly pack into 30 minutes. I begin by answering a reader question about the sad death of Philip Seymour Hoffman, and go downhill from there. Even my staunchly sunny co-host Baby Vegas gets a little wilted toward the second half.

But it’s fun listening! I swear! Especially if you’re a fan of Orphan Black. (If you’re hoping that actors such as Tatiana Maslany make more money for playing multiple roles, well, a listener wrote in asking that very question. And the answer is, again, sad.)

Plus!

• I dodge a barrage of flame from a listener who doesn’t understand why I can’t just believe everything Dylan Farrow says already.
• I maul Baby Vegas in a Cage Match that pits a gnome-sized TV star against a Scissor Sister. 
• And, of course, my 71-year-old dad, the world’s biggest Downton Abbey fan, is back, this time to rate the hotness of the ladies of the manor. (Fret not, fellow feminists: We'll be rating the men next week.)

Enjoy.

Episode 40: They're all coming out of the Woodywork

With Justin Bieber’s Crime and Punishment Tour winding down, you’d think that the gossip news tide would also recede. That's what I was expecting, anyway; just a day or two ago I was even flirting with making up a kibble-juicing scandal at the Puppy Bowl just to pad my rather empty-looking podcast. (Wait. Are they juicing the kibble at the Puppy Bowl? Email me your tips!)

But then came an avalanche of sad, tawdry and downright bizarre stories from the world of entertainment, and your questions came pouring in: With old allegations being hurled at Woody Allen afresh (and just as much evidence against his accusers) is there anyone out there who won’t work with him? How did the world find out about Justin Bieber’s Toronto perp walk before he even crossed the Canadian border? 

And oh my God did you know that there’s a perfume inspired by Jim Henson’s Labyrinth?

My cup runneth over. Have a listen to my latest podcast, as I answer all of the above queries from folks just like you (or maybe it is you). Of course I also have a brand-new segment in which Answer Dad reviews Downton Abbey…and I may or may not have lied to him about what happens in the show next week.

Enjoy.

Episode 39: The Justin files

For a week now, you’ve been plying my Facebook and Twitter feed with questions—nay, prayers—begging me to use my sizable influence to eject Justin Bieber from our wholesome land, to protect our amber waves of grain from his rampaging sizzurp-fueled Batmobile of sin. Kick the egg-hurler out of the country! you cry. Send him back to the frozen Canadian hellscape from which he sprung!

Sadly, no matter how many charges Bieber faces, he’s probably not going anywhere. I mean, anywhere other than his double-gated Calabasas community, with its yolk-colored mansions and whatnot. My influence actually isn’t all that big—unless you think a Klout score of 52 is big—and Bieber is more likely looking at probation than deportation.

Don’t believe me? Might want to have a listen to my latest podcast, in which I break down exactly what’s likely to happen to the Bieb in coming weeks. As usual, the episode is jam-packed with real-life experts.

But that’s not all! How about…

• A chewy blind item about a big-time TV personality with a nasty habit.
• Answer Dad on what the heck is wrong with Lady Mary’s boyfriends.
• And Ande, back by popular demand to discuss...a Lifetime movie, of all things.

Episode 38: Om nom noms

It’s all about Oscar nominations on our latest episode! For days, you’ve been writing to me with your questions about this year’s nods—does the Academy hate Leo? Does the Academy have a problem with black actors? (Unless it actually has a problem with Walt Disney instead?) I tracked down an eminent voice in the world of film and got all of the answers.

Plus!

• Answer Dad fixes the whole Anna/Bates/assault situation in less than two minutes.
• We reveal the secrets behind the Academy Awards seating chart: Who gets to sit in the “golden triangle”—assuming that’s a good thing?
• Ande is back! And she’s probably hate-watching the same TV show you are!

It’s all here, and it’s all for you.

Episode 37: Answer Dad will cap a bitch

While the rest of the planet was watching Lupita Nyong'o get robbed on the Golden Globes, I was busy putting together a fresh podcast for you. Among the topics this week: Why you maybe shouldn’t watch the Golden Globes either. And the reason has nothing to do with the fact that Lupita was so completely robbed. 

What else have I got for you this episode? How about:

• A Hollywood power attorney explaining why the creator of The Walking Dead hasn’t seen a dime of profit from the show?

• Answer Dad reviewing the new season of Downton Abbey (and revealing exactly how he would deal with Anna’s attacker)?

• A river of redneck hate mail aimed straight at yours truly?

• And snappy retorts crafted right on the spot by none other than comedian Guy Branum?

It’s all right here, waiting to burrow into your ear like that adorable mind-altering bug from Wrath of Khan. 

You’re welcome.

Episode 36: All tied up with an $80 bow

It’s January! Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? If you’re a celebrity personal assistant, that question actually isn’t all that crazy. As I recently learned, stars like their assistants to think like an elf all year ‘round, starting right...about...now.

I offer you proof of this in my first podcast of the New Year, courtesy of an interview with a woman who served as the assistant for an Oscar-winning actress for more than 25 years. (My VIP also offers up a blind item about a star who loves to give prezzies so much that she… well, I’ll let you discover that tidbit on your own. Also: Stars like to wrap their presents with silk ribbons that cost $80 a yard. Happy New Year!)

What else have I got for you in my latest episode? How’s about:

• The reason why you keep seeing the same newspaper over and over again on TV.
• A dirty blind item about a comedic actor with very sticky fingers.
• And the triumphant return of Baby Vegas!

All this, plus, of course, just for you, a brand-new Cage Match. Have a listen.

Episode 35: Kanye West vs. the terrorists

I love Kanye West. Newswise, he’s the gift who keeps on giving—a living, breathing savior in Givenchy boots and layered flannel. If I wake up in the morning and he hasn’t waxed poetical in the media, I simply assume he’s off turning water into moscato somewhere.

Uh huh, honey.

This week, the rapper insisted that his career is just like that of a solider in country. So, being a lover of knowledge, I called up a friendly Iraq war veteran to explain, in my latest podcast episode, exactly how correct Kanye is. Longtime fans of this show will be delighted to hear that my chosen expert is... well, I’ll let you discover for yourself.

Also this week!

• The Nerd Out’s Lisa Jenkins explains why Lady Gaga is not the failure you want her to be.
• We disclose the last known whereabouts of Ludacris.
• Lisa and I drill down—way down—on why you need to pay $40 for a Mrs. Carter Tour T-shirt.
• I go into feverish detail about precisely what you need to get me for the holidays.

You’re welcome.

Episode 34: Buggin' out

Now that Thanksgiving is over and I’ve returned to my regularly scheduled overeating, I have the time to start answering your questions again. And, really, why spend all that holiday time yakking with your family about Pappy’s goiter when you can listen to me hold forth about how celebrities really live? It’s a no brainer, people.

This week, one of you wrote in asking what the deal is with celebrity money. You know: How stars spend it, how they hoard it. So I got you Irwin Feinberg, a real fancy celebrity attorney who knows of such things. (Apparently art is a big thing with the famouses these days; if you need proof beyond this week’s episode, I recommend Nick Paumgarten’s recent New Yorker piece about the Art Basel show that happens every year in Switzerland; the fair is essentially the Davos of art, with all the smug self-importance and ridiculously sized cash transfers that such a description entails. For example, at the last Art Basel fair, one famous painting sold for a “cheap” 3.5 million; Leo DiCaprio and Cate Blanchett were among the VIP guests.)

Also in this episode: A loyal listener has a wee bit of a bedbug problem and wonders whether any celebrities have shared his pain. The answer: Yes. Just ask Howard Stern.

And! What will become of the Fast and Furious franchise without its key star? You asked. I answered.

Episode 33: Babes in tourland

So Miley Cyrus has chosen her opening act for her way-feminist, super-nekkid all-twerking world tour, y’all! But the question remains: Will they even get paid? After all, as I’ve reported before, some acts get nothing for hitting the road, even with a famous act. Some baby performers even have to pay to open for a main attraction.

You had questions about what it’s really like to open for a major hit maker on tour. So I found you an opening act: Meet Brynn Marie, a country-rock powerhouse who’s about to tell y’all how it really is.

Plus! Does anyone own Slenderman (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slender_Man)? Would anyone want to own Slenderman?

And! Guess who’s back in the little chair: It’s fan-favorite co-host Ande, and she’s here by your request. That is, it’s your request, if your name is Cocaine Sex Dream (https://twitter.com/cocainesexdream/status/401648802467422208) on Twitter. 

It’s all here for you in Episode No. 33. Have a listen!

Episode 32: Oaky notes with a hint of Lord Grantham's jodhpurs

It’s 11 p.m. on a Monday night and my head is killing me. For the benefit for you people—you people!—I’ve just slogged through a half-dozen bottles of wine, each of which has some tie-in to a celebrity or a hit TV show. 

Why? Because Kristin from New York started it. A loyal listener, Kristin is, and she wrote in to my Fame Fatale podcast, asking whether the new Downton Abbey wines—yes, there are now two wines with Lord Grantham’s front yard on the label—are worthy of anyone, even the downstairs maids. 

So for this week’s episode, I invited Los Angeles sommelier Whitney Adams; Nathan Hazard of the Table Set podcast; and show favorite and Nerd Out cohost Lisa Jenkins to offer their expert opinions. Yes, we sampled the Downton claret, but we didn’t stop there. We also poured a cab by Mike Ditka; a white by the late Paul Newman; an offering from Francis Ford Coppola; and plenty more.

Are any of them worth their elevated price tags? You’ll have to listen to find out...

Episode 31: Tattle Taylor

Ever wonder what lies inside Taylor Swift’s head, other than ponies. And guitars that taste like strawberries. And images of One Direction with Harry Styles’s face scribbled out with a glitter pen?

You’re not alone. A loyal listener wrote in recently asking what’s really behind the lovelorn lyrics written by award-winning angstress. So this week, I brought in Jo-Ann Geffen, a top music manager who’s repped everybody from the Temptations to the Commodores to Jim Brickman to David Cassidy. If anyone can navigate the tangled network of rainbow bridges inside the mind of a tween singer-songwriter, it’s her.

And she has your answer.

Plus!

• How Tori Spelling can be both broke and inexcusably famous at the same time.
• Why pop music seems to hate everybody over the age of 30.
• And a fairly intelligent guess on why Miley Cyrus can’t keep her clothes on.

Have a listen!

Episode 30: Doug's labyrinth

Last week I promised you a bloody hell of a Halloween episode. Here it is.

If you loved Pan's Labyrinth as much as I did; if you're a true dweeb who is anxiously hoping for a Hellboy 3; if "Hush" was your favorite episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you're definitely going to want to listen to this, my 30th episode and my inaugural celebration of all things spooky. Veteran creature actor Doug Jones —the Lon Chaney of the aughts—dishes not only on his super secret new project (which may or may not rhyme with Blender Man), but also reveals just how many hours he spends in a makeup chair... and what he's really like on Halloween. 

Also in our Halloween episode!

• How to mix up some fake blood that looks just like that of a Walking Dead zombie.
• How big-time filmmakers get away with making their movies as gory as they wish, no matter what the MPAA thinks it wants.
• And! Film director, resident horror specialist and super-duper guest co-host Jack Daniel Stanley gives us a peek into his next scary short, Suffer the Child, due out on DVXuser.com later this week.

Episode 29: Oval Office-to-go

What’s better than another Fame Fatale episode featuring three listener questions, answered? Another Fame Fatale episode featuring four listener questions, answered. This week I abstain from a VIP interview in order to give you all more of what you crave, and that’s me talking. 

You asked whether Elizabeth Berkley’s hopped-up jive performance on Dancing With the Stars makes her the next Mario Lopez. I found out.

You asked what would happen if Prince Jackson stopped chewing gum and suddenly decided he wanted to be a grownup. I looked into it.

You asked how Hollywood manages to shoot so many TV shows and movies featuring the same Oval Office. Turns out, you can get your very own Oval Office, and I’ll tell you how.

Plus! Secrets of blind items... and the return of Baby Vegas.

Have a listen!

Episode 28: 50 shades of buh-bye

Now that Charlie Hunnam has announced his departure from 50 Shades of Grey, my listeners are wondering what really spurred the Sons of Anarchy star to bail on what just might be the most lucrative bondage movie ever made. In this week’s episode of my Fame Fatale podcast, Hollywood casting director Bonnie Gillespie addresses that very question, theorizing on the most likely scenario behind the actor’s sudden aversion to sexy times. 

The mastermind behind Cricket Feet casting also mulls another big-budget mystery, this one in a cowl and tights. Why did John Krasinski reportedly read multiple times for the part of Captain America, only to have Chris Evans swoop in and take the role without a single audition? Because that happened, apparently. And Gillespie’s got us covered.

Plus! Loyal listener Charles from San Francisco wants to get his book optioned into a movie or TV.  I once had an article optioned and made into a movie. I dish on how the deal went down, and what you can do to make your dream come true, even if you don’t own a haunted box.

Episode 27: The young & the ruthless

Fun fact: The best pizza dough in Los Angeles just happens to take two days to make. That’s one day more than your average dough takes. The moral: Sometimes you just need an extra 24 hours to produce perfection. 

Ditto with podcasts. Episode 27 of the Fame Fatale is out on a Wednesday this week, and that’s because we wanted to make it extra crispy on the outside and super chewy on the inside. Just what kind of delicious toppings are we offering in this installment? Well: 

• Listener Kyle R. had a bunch of queries about the making of soap operas. So we got him a true daughter of daytime drama royalty: Lauralee Bell, veteran star of the Young and the Restless; Web entertainment innovator; writer; director of the comedic Web series Family Dinner; and occasional guest actress on your favorite TV shows such as Castle. If you think the kids from Glee work hard, wait til you hear what a typical day in the life of a soap star is like.  
• Do you assume that Breaking Bad offered up the best series finale of all time? You may be wrong. Listener DocTerv asked for my definitive list, and I’ve got it for you. I even let a few of you chime in as well. 
• Plus! Special guest co-host Nancie Clare, founder of Noir magazine; contributor to the Los Angeles Review of Books; and a ruthless expert on all things murder mystery, recommends the one crime series everybody should read. (And then I recommend a different one.) 

Have a listen!

Episode 26: B-list cooties!

Just how insecure is the average A-list celebrity? Assuming, of course, that the A-lister is really an A-lister? In my latest episode, celebrity wrangler Rita Tateel, that herder of very beautiful cats, dishes on how Hollywood truly defines a VIP in a city of so-called VIPs...and how celebrities tend to rank each other. (Hint: Too many B-listers can scare an A-lister away from an event. Cooties, you understand.) 

Also in this episode! 

• Music industry veteran, celeb social media expert and Nerd Out podcast co-host Lisa B. Jenkins takes issue with my fact-finding, and offers a spectacular blind item in the process. 
• I explain why Downton Abbey is taking three months to journey across the Atlantic to the United States. (It is so hard to find good help these days.) 
• And! I crush Lisa B. in the Cage Match arena. Or maybe I just shove her kind of hard. You be the judge.

Episode 25: Harry Belafonte v. Jay-Z

When was the last time you heard a podcast that explored Star Wars, celebrity drug rehabs and the civil rights movement in a single episode? Well, scratch that item off your bucket list, kids: It’s all here for you in Episode 25 of the Fame Fatale. This week’s VIP interview is really special to me. After reading of the recent mini-beef between Harry Belafonte and Jay-Z—the rapper essentially said that by merely breathing, he was fulfilling his obligations to the less fortunate—I got a terrific opportunity. I got the chance to interview journalist, playwright and civil rights pioneer Janet Langhart Cohen, a woman who called Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. her mentor. Turns out, Belafonte isn’t the only social-justice trailblazer who has a few choice questions for Mr. Z. If you think that today’s celebrities are doing enough by way of social activism, it’s time for a quick history lesson. After 10 minutes, you just might change your mind.

Also in this episode! 

•  Peter and Alex from the Star Wars Minute podcast! You had questions about the next Star Wars movie, and between the three of us, we have, um, at least two answers.
•  A blind item that rolls seven deep.
•  The reason why Zac Efron got away with a secret trip to rehab... a luxury that Lindsay Lohan can only dream of.

Episode 24: Emmy snubbery

It’s Emmy week! It’s Emmy week! For the next seven days my email inbox will overflow with breathless intel from publicists letting me know precisely which chandelier earring Claire Danes is wearing right this very second. It’s all extremely important.

Know what’s even more pressing, though? Your questions! About this Emmy season! You sent me TV-related questions via Twitter, via Facebook, via that there comment box on the right. And, with the help of special guest co-host Dan Fienberg of HitFix, I answer said questions. All while wearing Le Vian pave diamond fan earrings. (Well, OK, I don’t own any such earring. But Cat Deeley wore ‘em just the other day!)

So. Sit back. Relax. Maybe put on your favorite face mask (for the record, stars really do use those before hitting the Emmy red carpet—Tata Harper’s Resurfacing Mask is not a joke, people) and listen up as I answer your queries on:

• Why the Emmy people can’t seem to rally behind Sons of Anarchy
• Why not all American Horror Story stars are created equal
• Why Breaking Bad may not, in fact, walk off with every Emmy in the building this weekend

And much, much more!

Episode 23: Miley Cyrus wreckin' balls

Baby Vegas is back from Burning Man. I’ve just returned from a Mexican bender involving nine cases of Tecate and five bottles of tequila split between seven people over four days. Needless to say, your two Fame Fatale hosts are feeling a little loose in this latest episode.

Don’t get me wrong: We’re still exploding with plenty of occult Hollywood knowledge. In fact, this week I delve into a subject worthy of Nancy Grace’s flaming nostrils of justice: The sudden disappearance of America’s screaming tweens—at least, when it comes to movie theaters. The teeny boppers didn’t show up for the new Mortal Instruments movie. They were a no-show for Beautiful Creatures. And they skipped The Host, too. What’s going on, exactly? Have junior high school girls voluntarily abandoned the movie industry, leaving it safe for oldsters to watch Oprah make out with Terrence Howard in peace?

Or is a more sinister force at work? One of you asked. And I found out for you.

In this episode, I also settle some outstanding business involving Lea Michele’s Facebook page, as well as deliver a—literally—delicious celebrity sighting from the heart of Hollywood.

But the crowning glory of Episode 23 just may be the torture I impose upon my wayward costar. Somebody had tie down Baby Vegas and make him watch Miley Cyrus’s latest video, the one where she cries and swings around naked on a wrecking ball. 

Turns out, if you think that Miley makes a terrific gay man, you’re not alone.

Episode 22: Hacking the hacks

After watching Lady Gaga at the VMAs this weekend, you may be wondering: Wait a minute. This was this the single that Gaga was so keen on keeping under wraps? This was the sacred comeback hymn whose premature leak sent her spiraling into a death spasm of self-pity?

Some hacker spent weeks spelunking the glitter-caked virtual hallways of the Haus of Gaga for... this? Why, God, why?

That last query isn’t rhetorical. One of you actually asked that. And I found out the answer. It’s all here for you in this latest episode of our podcast. Plus!

• The real reason why Ben Affleck is Batman.
• Why no amount of marketing money could save Pacific Rim, at least, stateside.
• And, look who’s back! It’s Spin Media’s Kelly Lynch, who hated Miley Cyrus’s twerk-tastic VMAs medley more than you did. Promise.

Have a listen!

Episode 21: Pancake (makeup) wars!

The Fame Fatale comes of age today with its 21st podcast. Woot. Jello shots for everybody. And here’s a prezzie for all you, a Hobbit birthday gift, if you will: Three more of your questions about the inner machinations of Hollywood, answered! 

“Such as?” you query. Very well:

• Is your favorite TV star looking particularly shellacky this season—or just extremely zit-tastic like the poor vampires on True Blood? If the wonders of high-def have been distracting for you, just imagine what it’s like for top Hollywood makeup artists, who deal with it every flippin’ day. Actually, don’t imagine. Just listen to the dish from Howard Berger, whose work spans everything from Breaking Bad to Oz the Great and Powerful, and who does battle with high-def using nothing but brushes and wit.
• The death of The Bachelor’s Gia Allemand has one of my listeners wondering whether reality TV producers screen potential contestants for psychological disorders. I tracked down a psychotherapist who actually administers those tests, and got the deets.
• If "Blurred Lines" isn’t stuck in your head right now, there’s a good chance that Anna Kendrick’s cup song is. Can someone get paid just for introducing cup stylings into a ditty from the Depression Era? One of you asked. And I found out.

Plus! American royal highness Kelly Lynch of Celebuzz and the Spin Media empire joins me in the co-host chair this week. 

Go ahead and start listening.

Episode 20: One Direction's unpaid interns

Our 20th episode is here! Let’s call it the Charcoal Anniversary, after the material that makes up the bulk of my wizened heart. This week, I tackle three of my listeners’ most burning questions about entertainment, including, of course, the obligatory porn question.

Plus! Ever wonder what it’s like to open for a mega-tour like One Direction’s Take Me Home? You eat for free. And, turns out, that’s not all you do for free.

Also! Londoners get a quick primer on why Johnny Depp gets to play Tonto without anybody turning his backyard into Pine Ridge.

And finally! I get my mojo back in the Cage Match arena, even though Baby Vegas offers up one of the most epic celebrity sightings of all time.

Episode 19: Middling Kate Middleton

Pour us a cuppa, innit? Raise those pinkies! Let the Big Ben bong! 

For this 19th episode of the Fame Fatale podcast, I bring you a bona fide expert in British royals: Marcia Moody, author of the new Kate: A Biography, is here to answer all of your questions about who Kate Middleton really is and whether our new Duchess is truly worthy of all the insta-praise being heaped on her. 

If you, too, have wondered why Middleton has chosen to support an unorthodox charity, why someone so silent has garnered so many accolades, or what would have happened if Kate had decided to go child-free, I have your answers. (Special shout-out to Reddit’s Two X-Chromosomes community for supplying thoughtful and intelligent queries.)

Plus!

• How to throw a Star Wars-themed party without getting beaten up by the sand people at Disney
• Celebrity mommy-tucks revisited, just for you
• And! Do I actually lose a Cage Match to co-host Guy Branum? Even though I bring an Oscar-winning actor into the arena? You have to listen to believe it.

It’s all here in Episode 19.

Pip pip.