Episode 45: The Yellow King is dead, long live the king

So True Detective is over. Now what am I supposed to overanalyze on Reddit? Sure, the food on Hannibal looks amazing, but the show lacks that certain je-ne-sais-Carcosa. I need a crime TV fix, people!

Luckily, I have a friend in Nancie Clare, founder of the forthcoming Speaking of Mysteries blog and podcast. When it comes to ferreting out the best in crime TV and books, Clare is the Rust Cohle—the most dogged of them all. And she just happens to be my special guest co-host this week, dishing on exactly what you need to be watching next (and reading, now that Malcolm McKay, author of the breakout Glasgow Trilogy of crime novels, doesn’t have anything new on the shelves this very second).

What else do I have for you this week? 

Ever wonder if those pricey makeup brands—the ones so often slathered on celebrities during the Oscars—are really worth it? For the next several weeks, I’ll be drilling down on a variety of beauty categories, getting the straight dish from top-of-the-line red carpet makeup artists about what they really carry around in their handbags. And it ain’t always the spendiest of balms.

Plus! TV industry vet Marrissa O’Leary answers a question that you yourself have probably wondered—that is, if you’ve ever watch the end credits of a network TV show. O’Leary, a former head of business affairs for not one but two major TV production studios, dips into her vast pool of knowledge—and shares wisdom from a couple of her favorite showrunners, John Rogers and Javier Grillo-Marxuach—to answer a burning question from listener AdamX6000.

Enjoy!

Episode 44: SXSWTF

In case you’ve stepped away from Twitter for more than eight seconds, the South by Southwest festival continues apace in Austin. (Can't understand what I'm saying? Here: #SXSW is happening in #Austin.)

If you remain unimpressed by this festival of music and interactive shenanigans and Justin Bieber, you are not alone. A loyal listener wrote in essentially asking me to please explain WTF is the deal with SXSW. With the help of music industry veteran and Nerd Out podcast co-host Lisa Jenkins, I do just that in this latest episode.

Plus! Four of your lingering Oscar questions answered…and Lisa reveals her ideal four-man sandwich. Is your favorite hunky celeb among the fixins? Find out by hitting the play button!

Episode 43: American pie (with extra cheese)

Now that the Oscars are over, can we talk about that cheesy pizza that Ellen Degeneres had delivered in the middle of the telecast? Answer Dad loved that stunt. Thought it was brilliant comedy. I was more curious about the pizza itself—whether the whole jape was real, an elaborate bit of theater, or just an excuse for Jennifer Lawrence to actually get to eat something on Oscar night. So I found out for you. (Bonus fact: Scuttlebutt among rival pizza makers in Los Angeles is that Lawrence’s slice was—and I quote—“crap.” I'm just relaying what I heard, so don't shoot the messenger. Unless, of course, that messenger is delivering crap pizza.)

What else have I got for you this week?

• Tons of little-to-unknown dish about how things really work behind the scenes at the Oscars and the after-parties!
• A takedown on the best and worst of the Oscars gowns with the help of seasoned entertainment reporter Lawrence Yee!
• Exactly how much the money breakout star from Captain Phillips has in his pocket right now…and whether that pocket even belongs to him!

Have a listen!

Episode 42: Rent-a-neck

It’s the last podcast before the Oscars! Ever wonder how actresses choose one obscene diamond necklace over another obscene diamond necklace before hitting a red carpet? Here’s a hint: Which jeweler is willing to pay the actress the most?

It’s the dirty, increasingly open secret of Oscar season: The red carpet fashion pay-for-placement game. Top designers shell out six to seven figure sums just so that an A-list actress will wear their earrings or bracelets, or even their gowns. True. In this special Oscar-packed episode, I dish all the details—including which top actress reportedly charges $1 million to wear a single bracelet.

Also this week!

• Baby Vegas is back!
• As promised, we bring in not Answer Dad, but Answer MOM, to rate the hotness of the men of Downton Abbey
• I explain how any fatty—meaning any Hollywood actress over a size 2—ever manages to find a dress for the Oscars
• I throw down in a particularly gruesome Cage Match. And there’s a twist: Baby Vegas’s little sister, Baby Baby Vegas, must choose a winner. 

Episode 41: Blue valentines

It’s Valentine’s Day week. In honor of the holiday, I bring you a podcast filled with as much bile and cynicism as I can possibly pack into 30 minutes. I begin by answering a reader question about the sad death of Philip Seymour Hoffman, and go downhill from there. Even my staunchly sunny co-host Baby Vegas gets a little wilted toward the second half.

But it’s fun listening! I swear! Especially if you’re a fan of Orphan Black. (If you’re hoping that actors such as Tatiana Maslany make more money for playing multiple roles, well, a listener wrote in asking that very question. And the answer is, again, sad.)

Plus!

• I dodge a barrage of flame from a listener who doesn’t understand why I can’t just believe everything Dylan Farrow says already.
• I maul Baby Vegas in a Cage Match that pits a gnome-sized TV star against a Scissor Sister. 
• And, of course, my 71-year-old dad, the world’s biggest Downton Abbey fan, is back, this time to rate the hotness of the ladies of the manor. (Fret not, fellow feminists: We'll be rating the men next week.)

Enjoy.

Episode 40: They're all coming out of the Woodywork

With Justin Bieber’s Crime and Punishment Tour winding down, you’d think that the gossip news tide would also recede. That's what I was expecting, anyway; just a day or two ago I was even flirting with making up a kibble-juicing scandal at the Puppy Bowl just to pad my rather empty-looking podcast. (Wait. Are they juicing the kibble at the Puppy Bowl? Email me your tips!)

But then came an avalanche of sad, tawdry and downright bizarre stories from the world of entertainment, and your questions came pouring in: With old allegations being hurled at Woody Allen afresh (and just as much evidence against his accusers) is there anyone out there who won’t work with him? How did the world find out about Justin Bieber’s Toronto perp walk before he even crossed the Canadian border? 

And oh my God did you know that there’s a perfume inspired by Jim Henson’s Labyrinth?

My cup runneth over. Have a listen to my latest podcast, as I answer all of the above queries from folks just like you (or maybe it is you). Of course I also have a brand-new segment in which Answer Dad reviews Downton Abbey…and I may or may not have lied to him about what happens in the show next week.

Enjoy.

Episode 39: The Justin files

For a week now, you’ve been plying my Facebook and Twitter feed with questions—nay, prayers—begging me to use my sizable influence to eject Justin Bieber from our wholesome land, to protect our amber waves of grain from his rampaging sizzurp-fueled Batmobile of sin. Kick the egg-hurler out of the country! you cry. Send him back to the frozen Canadian hellscape from which he sprung!

Sadly, no matter how many charges Bieber faces, he’s probably not going anywhere. I mean, anywhere other than his double-gated Calabasas community, with its yolk-colored mansions and whatnot. My influence actually isn’t all that big—unless you think a Klout score of 52 is big—and Bieber is more likely looking at probation than deportation.

Don’t believe me? Might want to have a listen to my latest podcast, in which I break down exactly what’s likely to happen to the Bieb in coming weeks. As usual, the episode is jam-packed with real-life experts.

But that’s not all! How about…

• A chewy blind item about a big-time TV personality with a nasty habit.
• Answer Dad on what the heck is wrong with Lady Mary’s boyfriends.
• And Ande, back by popular demand to discuss...a Lifetime movie, of all things.

Episode 38: Om nom noms

It’s all about Oscar nominations on our latest episode! For days, you’ve been writing to me with your questions about this year’s nods—does the Academy hate Leo? Does the Academy have a problem with black actors? (Unless it actually has a problem with Walt Disney instead?) I tracked down an eminent voice in the world of film and got all of the answers.

Plus!

• Answer Dad fixes the whole Anna/Bates/assault situation in less than two minutes.
• We reveal the secrets behind the Academy Awards seating chart: Who gets to sit in the “golden triangle”—assuming that’s a good thing?
• Ande is back! And she’s probably hate-watching the same TV show you are!

It’s all here, and it’s all for you.

Episode 37: Answer Dad will cap a bitch

While the rest of the planet was watching Lupita Nyong'o get robbed on the Golden Globes, I was busy putting together a fresh podcast for you. Among the topics this week: Why you maybe shouldn’t watch the Golden Globes either. And the reason has nothing to do with the fact that Lupita was so completely robbed. 

What else have I got for you this episode? How about:

• A Hollywood power attorney explaining why the creator of The Walking Dead hasn’t seen a dime of profit from the show?

• Answer Dad reviewing the new season of Downton Abbey (and revealing exactly how he would deal with Anna’s attacker)?

• A river of redneck hate mail aimed straight at yours truly?

• And snappy retorts crafted right on the spot by none other than comedian Guy Branum?

It’s all right here, waiting to burrow into your ear like that adorable mind-altering bug from Wrath of Khan. 

You’re welcome.

Episode 36: All tied up with an $80 bow

It’s January! Have you started your Christmas shopping yet? If you’re a celebrity personal assistant, that question actually isn’t all that crazy. As I recently learned, stars like their assistants to think like an elf all year ‘round, starting right...about...now.

I offer you proof of this in my first podcast of the New Year, courtesy of an interview with a woman who served as the assistant for an Oscar-winning actress for more than 25 years. (My VIP also offers up a blind item about a star who loves to give prezzies so much that she… well, I’ll let you discover that tidbit on your own. Also: Stars like to wrap their presents with silk ribbons that cost $80 a yard. Happy New Year!)

What else have I got for you in my latest episode? How’s about:

• The reason why you keep seeing the same newspaper over and over again on TV.
• A dirty blind item about a comedic actor with very sticky fingers.
• And the triumphant return of Baby Vegas!

All this, plus, of course, just for you, a brand-new Cage Match. Have a listen.

Episode 35: Kanye West vs. the terrorists

I love Kanye West. Newswise, he’s the gift who keeps on giving—a living, breathing savior in Givenchy boots and layered flannel. If I wake up in the morning and he hasn’t waxed poetical in the media, I simply assume he’s off turning water into moscato somewhere.

Uh huh, honey.

This week, the rapper insisted that his career is just like that of a solider in country. So, being a lover of knowledge, I called up a friendly Iraq war veteran to explain, in my latest podcast episode, exactly how correct Kanye is. Longtime fans of this show will be delighted to hear that my chosen expert is... well, I’ll let you discover for yourself.

Also this week!

• The Nerd Out’s Lisa Jenkins explains why Lady Gaga is not the failure you want her to be.
• We disclose the last known whereabouts of Ludacris.
• Lisa and I drill down—way down—on why you need to pay $40 for a Mrs. Carter Tour T-shirt.
• I go into feverish detail about precisely what you need to get me for the holidays.

You’re welcome.

Episode 34: Buggin' out

Now that Thanksgiving is over and I’ve returned to my regularly scheduled overeating, I have the time to start answering your questions again. And, really, why spend all that holiday time yakking with your family about Pappy’s goiter when you can listen to me hold forth about how celebrities really live? It’s a no brainer, people.

This week, one of you wrote in asking what the deal is with celebrity money. You know: How stars spend it, how they hoard it. So I got you Irwin Feinberg, a real fancy celebrity attorney who knows of such things. (Apparently art is a big thing with the famouses these days; if you need proof beyond this week’s episode, I recommend Nick Paumgarten’s recent New Yorker piece about the Art Basel show that happens every year in Switzerland; the fair is essentially the Davos of art, with all the smug self-importance and ridiculously sized cash transfers that such a description entails. For example, at the last Art Basel fair, one famous painting sold for a “cheap” 3.5 million; Leo DiCaprio and Cate Blanchett were among the VIP guests.)

Also in this episode: A loyal listener has a wee bit of a bedbug problem and wonders whether any celebrities have shared his pain. The answer: Yes. Just ask Howard Stern.

And! What will become of the Fast and Furious franchise without its key star? You asked. I answered.

Episode 33: Babes in tourland

So Miley Cyrus has chosen her opening act for her way-feminist, super-nekkid all-twerking world tour, y’all! But the question remains: Will they even get paid? After all, as I’ve reported before, some acts get nothing for hitting the road, even with a famous act. Some baby performers even have to pay to open for a main attraction.

You had questions about what it’s really like to open for a major hit maker on tour. So I found you an opening act: Meet Brynn Marie, a country-rock powerhouse who’s about to tell y’all how it really is.

Plus! Does anyone own Slenderman (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slender_Man)? Would anyone want to own Slenderman?

And! Guess who’s back in the little chair: It’s fan-favorite co-host Ande, and she’s here by your request. That is, it’s your request, if your name is Cocaine Sex Dream (https://twitter.com/cocainesexdream/status/401648802467422208) on Twitter. 

It’s all here for you in Episode No. 33. Have a listen!

Episode 32: Oaky notes with a hint of Lord Grantham's jodhpurs

It’s 11 p.m. on a Monday night and my head is killing me. For the benefit for you people—you people!—I’ve just slogged through a half-dozen bottles of wine, each of which has some tie-in to a celebrity or a hit TV show. 

Why? Because Kristin from New York started it. A loyal listener, Kristin is, and she wrote in to my Fame Fatale podcast, asking whether the new Downton Abbey wines—yes, there are now two wines with Lord Grantham’s front yard on the label—are worthy of anyone, even the downstairs maids. 

So for this week’s episode, I invited Los Angeles sommelier Whitney Adams; Nathan Hazard of the Table Set podcast; and show favorite and Nerd Out cohost Lisa Jenkins to offer their expert opinions. Yes, we sampled the Downton claret, but we didn’t stop there. We also poured a cab by Mike Ditka; a white by the late Paul Newman; an offering from Francis Ford Coppola; and plenty more.

Are any of them worth their elevated price tags? You’ll have to listen to find out...

Episode 31: Tattle Taylor

Ever wonder what lies inside Taylor Swift’s head, other than ponies. And guitars that taste like strawberries. And images of One Direction with Harry Styles’s face scribbled out with a glitter pen?

You’re not alone. A loyal listener wrote in recently asking what’s really behind the lovelorn lyrics written by award-winning angstress. So this week, I brought in Jo-Ann Geffen, a top music manager who’s repped everybody from the Temptations to the Commodores to Jim Brickman to David Cassidy. If anyone can navigate the tangled network of rainbow bridges inside the mind of a tween singer-songwriter, it’s her.

And she has your answer.

Plus!

• How Tori Spelling can be both broke and inexcusably famous at the same time.
• Why pop music seems to hate everybody over the age of 30.
• And a fairly intelligent guess on why Miley Cyrus can’t keep her clothes on.

Have a listen!

Episode 30: Doug's labyrinth

Last week I promised you a bloody hell of a Halloween episode. Here it is.

If you loved Pan's Labyrinth as much as I did; if you're a true dweeb who is anxiously hoping for a Hellboy 3; if "Hush" was your favorite episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you're definitely going to want to listen to this, my 30th episode and my inaugural celebration of all things spooky. Veteran creature actor Doug Jones —the Lon Chaney of the aughts—dishes not only on his super secret new project (which may or may not rhyme with Blender Man), but also reveals just how many hours he spends in a makeup chair... and what he's really like on Halloween. 

Also in our Halloween episode!

• How to mix up some fake blood that looks just like that of a Walking Dead zombie.
• How big-time filmmakers get away with making their movies as gory as they wish, no matter what the MPAA thinks it wants.
• And! Film director, resident horror specialist and super-duper guest co-host Jack Daniel Stanley gives us a peek into his next scary short, Suffer the Child, due out on DVXuser.com later this week.

Episode 29: Oval Office-to-go

What’s better than another Fame Fatale episode featuring three listener questions, answered? Another Fame Fatale episode featuring four listener questions, answered. This week I abstain from a VIP interview in order to give you all more of what you crave, and that’s me talking. 

You asked whether Elizabeth Berkley’s hopped-up jive performance on Dancing With the Stars makes her the next Mario Lopez. I found out.

You asked what would happen if Prince Jackson stopped chewing gum and suddenly decided he wanted to be a grownup. I looked into it.

You asked how Hollywood manages to shoot so many TV shows and movies featuring the same Oval Office. Turns out, you can get your very own Oval Office, and I’ll tell you how.

Plus! Secrets of blind items... and the return of Baby Vegas.

Have a listen!

Episode 28: 50 shades of buh-bye

Now that Charlie Hunnam has announced his departure from 50 Shades of Grey, my listeners are wondering what really spurred the Sons of Anarchy star to bail on what just might be the most lucrative bondage movie ever made. In this week’s episode of my Fame Fatale podcast, Hollywood casting director Bonnie Gillespie addresses that very question, theorizing on the most likely scenario behind the actor’s sudden aversion to sexy times. 

The mastermind behind Cricket Feet casting also mulls another big-budget mystery, this one in a cowl and tights. Why did John Krasinski reportedly read multiple times for the part of Captain America, only to have Chris Evans swoop in and take the role without a single audition? Because that happened, apparently. And Gillespie’s got us covered.

Plus! Loyal listener Charles from San Francisco wants to get his book optioned into a movie or TV.  I once had an article optioned and made into a movie. I dish on how the deal went down, and what you can do to make your dream come true, even if you don’t own a haunted box.

Episode 27: The young & the ruthless

Fun fact: The best pizza dough in Los Angeles just happens to take two days to make. That’s one day more than your average dough takes. The moral: Sometimes you just need an extra 24 hours to produce perfection. 

Ditto with podcasts. Episode 27 of the Fame Fatale is out on a Wednesday this week, and that’s because we wanted to make it extra crispy on the outside and super chewy on the inside. Just what kind of delicious toppings are we offering in this installment? Well: 

• Listener Kyle R. had a bunch of queries about the making of soap operas. So we got him a true daughter of daytime drama royalty: Lauralee Bell, veteran star of the Young and the Restless; Web entertainment innovator; writer; director of the comedic Web series Family Dinner; and occasional guest actress on your favorite TV shows such as Castle. If you think the kids from Glee work hard, wait til you hear what a typical day in the life of a soap star is like.  
• Do you assume that Breaking Bad offered up the best series finale of all time? You may be wrong. Listener DocTerv asked for my definitive list, and I’ve got it for you. I even let a few of you chime in as well. 
• Plus! Special guest co-host Nancie Clare, founder of Noir magazine; contributor to the Los Angeles Review of Books; and a ruthless expert on all things murder mystery, recommends the one crime series everybody should read. (And then I recommend a different one.) 

Have a listen!

Episode 26: B-list cooties!

Just how insecure is the average A-list celebrity? Assuming, of course, that the A-lister is really an A-lister? In my latest episode, celebrity wrangler Rita Tateel, that herder of very beautiful cats, dishes on how Hollywood truly defines a VIP in a city of so-called VIPs...and how celebrities tend to rank each other. (Hint: Too many B-listers can scare an A-lister away from an event. Cooties, you understand.) 

Also in this episode! 

• Music industry veteran, celeb social media expert and Nerd Out podcast co-host Lisa B. Jenkins takes issue with my fact-finding, and offers a spectacular blind item in the process. 
• I explain why Downton Abbey is taking three months to journey across the Atlantic to the United States. (It is so hard to find good help these days.) 
• And! I crush Lisa B. in the Cage Match arena. Or maybe I just shove her kind of hard. You be the judge.

Episode 25: Harry Belafonte v. Jay-Z

When was the last time you heard a podcast that explored Star Wars, celebrity drug rehabs and the civil rights movement in a single episode? Well, scratch that item off your bucket list, kids: It’s all here for you in Episode 25 of the Fame Fatale. This week’s VIP interview is really special to me. After reading of the recent mini-beef between Harry Belafonte and Jay-Z—the rapper essentially said that by merely breathing, he was fulfilling his obligations to the less fortunate—I got a terrific opportunity. I got the chance to interview journalist, playwright and civil rights pioneer Janet Langhart Cohen, a woman who called Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. her mentor. Turns out, Belafonte isn’t the only social-justice trailblazer who has a few choice questions for Mr. Z. If you think that today’s celebrities are doing enough by way of social activism, it’s time for a quick history lesson. After 10 minutes, you just might change your mind.

Also in this episode! 

•  Peter and Alex from the Star Wars Minute podcast! You had questions about the next Star Wars movie, and between the three of us, we have, um, at least two answers.
•  A blind item that rolls seven deep.
•  The reason why Zac Efron got away with a secret trip to rehab... a luxury that Lindsay Lohan can only dream of.

Episode 24: Emmy snubbery

It’s Emmy week! It’s Emmy week! For the next seven days my email inbox will overflow with breathless intel from publicists letting me know precisely which chandelier earring Claire Danes is wearing right this very second. It’s all extremely important.

Know what’s even more pressing, though? Your questions! About this Emmy season! You sent me TV-related questions via Twitter, via Facebook, via that there comment box on the right. And, with the help of special guest co-host Dan Fienberg of HitFix, I answer said questions. All while wearing Le Vian pave diamond fan earrings. (Well, OK, I don’t own any such earring. But Cat Deeley wore ‘em just the other day!)

So. Sit back. Relax. Maybe put on your favorite face mask (for the record, stars really do use those before hitting the Emmy red carpet—Tata Harper’s Resurfacing Mask is not a joke, people) and listen up as I answer your queries on:

• Why the Emmy people can’t seem to rally behind Sons of Anarchy
• Why not all American Horror Story stars are created equal
• Why Breaking Bad may not, in fact, walk off with every Emmy in the building this weekend

And much, much more!

Episode 23: Miley Cyrus wreckin' balls

Baby Vegas is back from Burning Man. I’ve just returned from a Mexican bender involving nine cases of Tecate and five bottles of tequila split between seven people over four days. Needless to say, your two Fame Fatale hosts are feeling a little loose in this latest episode.

Don’t get me wrong: We’re still exploding with plenty of occult Hollywood knowledge. In fact, this week I delve into a subject worthy of Nancy Grace’s flaming nostrils of justice: The sudden disappearance of America’s screaming tweens—at least, when it comes to movie theaters. The teeny boppers didn’t show up for the new Mortal Instruments movie. They were a no-show for Beautiful Creatures. And they skipped The Host, too. What’s going on, exactly? Have junior high school girls voluntarily abandoned the movie industry, leaving it safe for oldsters to watch Oprah make out with Terrence Howard in peace?

Or is a more sinister force at work? One of you asked. And I found out for you.

In this episode, I also settle some outstanding business involving Lea Michele’s Facebook page, as well as deliver a—literally—delicious celebrity sighting from the heart of Hollywood.

But the crowning glory of Episode 23 just may be the torture I impose upon my wayward costar. Somebody had tie down Baby Vegas and make him watch Miley Cyrus’s latest video, the one where she cries and swings around naked on a wrecking ball. 

Turns out, if you think that Miley makes a terrific gay man, you’re not alone.

Episode 22: Hacking the hacks

After watching Lady Gaga at the VMAs this weekend, you may be wondering: Wait a minute. This was this the single that Gaga was so keen on keeping under wraps? This was the sacred comeback hymn whose premature leak sent her spiraling into a death spasm of self-pity?

Some hacker spent weeks spelunking the glitter-caked virtual hallways of the Haus of Gaga for... this? Why, God, why?

That last query isn’t rhetorical. One of you actually asked that. And I found out the answer. It’s all here for you in this latest episode of our podcast. Plus!

• The real reason why Ben Affleck is Batman.
• Why no amount of marketing money could save Pacific Rim, at least, stateside.
• And, look who’s back! It’s Spin Media’s Kelly Lynch, who hated Miley Cyrus’s twerk-tastic VMAs medley more than you did. Promise.

Have a listen!

Episode 21: Pancake (makeup) wars!

The Fame Fatale comes of age today with its 21st podcast. Woot. Jello shots for everybody. And here’s a prezzie for all you, a Hobbit birthday gift, if you will: Three more of your questions about the inner machinations of Hollywood, answered! 

“Such as?” you query. Very well:

• Is your favorite TV star looking particularly shellacky this season—or just extremely zit-tastic like the poor vampires on True Blood? If the wonders of high-def have been distracting for you, just imagine what it’s like for top Hollywood makeup artists, who deal with it every flippin’ day. Actually, don’t imagine. Just listen to the dish from Howard Berger, whose work spans everything from Breaking Bad to Oz the Great and Powerful, and who does battle with high-def using nothing but brushes and wit.
• The death of The Bachelor’s Gia Allemand has one of my listeners wondering whether reality TV producers screen potential contestants for psychological disorders. I tracked down a psychotherapist who actually administers those tests, and got the deets.
• If "Blurred Lines" isn’t stuck in your head right now, there’s a good chance that Anna Kendrick’s cup song is. Can someone get paid just for introducing cup stylings into a ditty from the Depression Era? One of you asked. And I found out.

Plus! American royal highness Kelly Lynch of Celebuzz and the Spin Media empire joins me in the co-host chair this week. 

Go ahead and start listening.

Episode 20: One Direction's unpaid interns

Our 20th episode is here! Let’s call it the Charcoal Anniversary, after the material that makes up the bulk of my wizened heart. This week, I tackle three of my listeners’ most burning questions about entertainment, including, of course, the obligatory porn question.

Plus! Ever wonder what it’s like to open for a mega-tour like One Direction’s Take Me Home? You eat for free. And, turns out, that’s not all you do for free.

Also! Londoners get a quick primer on why Johnny Depp gets to play Tonto without anybody turning his backyard into Pine Ridge.

And finally! I get my mojo back in the Cage Match arena, even though Baby Vegas offers up one of the most epic celebrity sightings of all time.

Episode 19: Middling Kate Middleton

Pour us a cuppa, innit? Raise those pinkies! Let the Big Ben bong! 

For this 19th episode of the Fame Fatale podcast, I bring you a bona fide expert in British royals: Marcia Moody, author of the new Kate: A Biography, is here to answer all of your questions about who Kate Middleton really is and whether our new Duchess is truly worthy of all the insta-praise being heaped on her. 

If you, too, have wondered why Middleton has chosen to support an unorthodox charity, why someone so silent has garnered so many accolades, or what would have happened if Kate had decided to go child-free, I have your answers. (Special shout-out to Reddit’s Two X-Chromosomes community for supplying thoughtful and intelligent queries.)

Plus!

• How to throw a Star Wars-themed party without getting beaten up by the sand people at Disney
• Celebrity mommy-tucks revisited, just for you
• And! Do I actually lose a Cage Match to co-host Guy Branum? Even though I bring an Oscar-winning actor into the arena? You have to listen to believe it.

It’s all here in Episode 19.

Pip pip.

Episode 18: Clean and dirty secrets of celebrity weight loss

Tired of celebrities telling us tall tales of eating “whatever they want”? So am I. And so, apparently, was a loyal listener, who wrote in recently asking about how stars really shed the pounds. The result: An interview with Mark MacDonald, the guy who got Chelsea Handler ready for her Shape magazine cover. MacDonald dishes nutrient-rich info about the smart and not-so-smart ways celebs stay slim in one of my most revealing Fame Fatale Q&As to date. (Hint: The smart celebs don't completely starve themselves before a shoot. But they do dry up.)

Also!: 

• What happens when a TV series star shows up to work high or hung over? I found out for you, with the aid of a person who has seen many a high and hungover actor. 
• Those folksy folks who appear for 3 seconds each in the opening titles of True Blood? They made (blood) bank off of that brief bit of work. Find out exactly how much.
• Baby Vegas.

It’s all here. Take a listen. Head to iTunes and vote it up. Subscribe. Tell a little buddy.

Episode 17: Giant robot invasion!

Seen Pacific Rim? You know, the arthouse movie about mechanical men coming to terms with alienation in the modern world through the redemptive power of boat-throwing? Right. That Pacific Rim.

Apparently some of you think that the movie is a ripoff of other mega-robot flicks. If you are one of those people, then my special guest, Adi Tantimedh of Bleeding Cool, would like a word with you. Allow him to school you on the long, loooooonnnng history of massive mechas, courtesy of my latest podcast. By the end of his segment, you will know your testujins from your Transformers. And, coincidentally, the world will be forever free from invading aliens.

Also in this episode:

•  Guest co-host Lawrence Yee of TMZ’s TooFab explains why American Horror Story is scary-smart when it comes to Emmy strategy.

•  Mr. Yee brings his mad red-carpet skills into the Cage Match arena, but is soundly defeated by an 87-year-old former sitcom star. It’s kind of sad.

•  Plus! Your obligatory royal baby question, answered!

It’s all here in Episode 17. Plus, a handy infographic for all your robotic-history needs!

Episode 16: Simon Prebble, the voice of audiobooks

He’s been called the “audio heartthrob” and the “master of romance,” and now he’s mine. Allllll mine. At least, for the next 38 minutes or so. I speak of Simon Prebble, arguably the most in-demand voice actor in the world of audiobooks, and the man whose mesmerizing British baritone made me a fan of novels ranging from Raven’s Gate to Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell. 

Thanks to one of you loyal listeners, Prebble is also the featured interview in my latest podcast, which focuses on the underhanded, low-down, seedy world of recorded books.

Actually, there isn’t anything particularly seedy or low-down about the world of recorded books. But if Prebble were to read that sentence out loud, it would sound awesome. Know what else sounds awesome? When Prebble offers a dramatic reading of a Tweet by Katy Perry.

Which he does. Just for you.

By the way, how long does it take to record an unabridged novel about fairies, anyway? And what does it pay? Or, maybe the better phrase would be, what does it not pay? Here, Prebble offers all the dish, and in the same voice he used to win his Audie Award!

Also in this episode: All about Vocaloids. If you’re Japanese, you have to know what those are, or you lose your prefecture citizenship. But, because I have listeners living outside the Harajuku District, it’s about time I explained Vocaloids to the rest of you. 

Plus! Exclusive insight from music industry insider and Nerd-Out podcast co-host Lisa Jenkins.

Episode 15: Marc Maron

Let’s just say you’re one of those talky people who likes to put on a show. You know: in a barn, on a stage, over those new-fangled webby inter-tubes.

Now just hold on there, future Oprah Jr. Turns out that, by merely doing that last thing–putting your face up to a USB mic and spewing your electrifying thoughts in podcast form–you’re opening yourself up to legal harassment and possibly even a lawsuit. That includes me. And, if you have a podcast, that includes you, too. 

Where is this fuckery coming from? Turns out, it’s a single company, which insists it holds a patent affecting pretty much every podcaster out there.

A loyal listener of mine has heard rumors about this accused patent troll, and wrote in expressing deep concern. So I looked into it, and got more answers for you, courtesy of IP attorney Peter Toren and none other than Marc Maron, host of one of the most amazeballs podcasts ever.

So there’s that.

Also in this episode!:

• Why you should stop worrying about Armie Hammer forthwith, featuring the always-plugged-in casting director Bonnie Gillespie.
• Why you should stop worrying about record labels forthwith, starring the fabulous music industry insider and fellow endangered podcaster Tom DeSavia.
• And I actually, just might, um, lose a Cage Match. Against Baby Vegas, of all people. Let’s never speak of that again.

So hit that there play button already!

Episode 14: Jackpot in the box

Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp are not the only actors who are richer than you. Know who else is probably richer than you? Flo. From those Progressive Insurance Commercials. The voice of the E-Trade baby. The Can-You-Hear-Me-Now guy who sold us Verizon wireless service for years. Those people make six figures a year or possibly more; the ex-Verizon actor Paul Marcarelli, bought and sold a $1.2 million New York apartment during the height of his fame.

But you, loyal listeners, wanted even more knowledge about your favorite commercial actors and how they live. So! For my 14th Fame Fatale podcast episode, I tracked down an actress so successful she’s got four spots running right now. And, just for me, she dishes on life as an ad queen. How many homes in the Maldives does Annie the Jack in the Box social media intern own? Well, none. But right now, she doesn’t really have to seek out any more work unless she wants to.

Plus!

• Why Paula Deen is a crispy, buttery, southern-fried bigot, but still not as bad as Lance Armstrong
• Why Kim Kardashian’s baby girl, North West, got to home before she was fully cooked
• And! A raging celebrity-sighting Cage Match, featuring me versus me in a slugfest to the near death!

Episode 13: Jesus H. Krypton!

That new Superman movie is Christ-tastic, isn’t it, kids? That’s a rhetorical question. Empirically speaking, Man of Steel has to be the most religiously pushy piece of moviemaking since Battlefield Earth. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. 

Listen in to Episode 13 of my Fame Fatale podcast to learn just how Christian our friend from Krypton has gotten, plus hear some insight on this topic from the fabulous Siike Donnelly, host of Up, Up and Away, and a resident DC comics expert at the iconic Golden Apple in Los Angeles.

Plus! 

• Would you pay $50 to see World War Z? What if it came with, um, a limited edition poster? And is this the future of movie ticket prices?
• Which highfalutin movie director had a highfalutin lunch just a few feet from me and managed to walk away unharmed?
• Is Will Smith’s career over because of After Earth? Do you want it to be?

And, back and badder then ever... Baby Vegas.

Episode 12: Pretty little writers room

Another edition of my podcast is here! If you’re a fan of episodic drama, rejoice. Rejoice all over again if you like shows such as Pretty Little Liars, because our new installment of The Fame Fatale features an in-depth interview with one of the show writers! One of you wrote in asking how such shows get plotted out, and I got the answer for you, and so much more.

Plus!

• Are there lies printed on celebrity death certificates? It’s not a dumb question, and I explain why, with the help of crack wills and estates attorney Irwin Feinberg.
• Want an Oscar? Be prepared to shell out...and butter up a critic or two. I have the dish on the Academy Award submission rules. If you’re a small-budget filmmaker, or merely unconnected, then you’re already at a disadvantage.
• Can we live without Game of Thrones? The Nerd-Out co-host Lisa Jenkins and I discuss the relative bad-assery of Tywin Lannister vs. budding murderer Arya Stark. It’s how we say goodbye to Season 3 of HBO’s best current show.

Episode 11: How to scrub Google like a dirty celeb

We’re pleased to announce the 11th episode of The Fame Fatale! This particular edition is fed by conspiracy-minded readers eager to know whether stars are secretly manipulating the Intertubes with occult online reputation-scrubbing techniques. The answer is yes, and it's called "Google suppression." And, per usual, I have proof. You won’t want to miss my interview with veteran PR consultant and Reputation.com vice chairman Howard Bragman. Does he name names? Yep. Yep, boy howdy, he does.

Also! People are concerned about Portia de Rossi, which, in my world, means that people want to know if de Rossi has done something to her face. I ran some photos past friendly neighborhood plastic surgeon-to-the-stars Dr. Brent Moelleken. Short answer: Vegans rejoice.

And, oh! Hey! Did you catch that fabulous wedding on Game of Thrones? Wasn’t it romantic? You don’t think anybody’s bought those crazy kids a chip-n-dip yet, do you? Because mine’s in the mail. Co-host Lisa Jenkins (one half of The Nerd Out podcast) and I break down this game-changer of an episode. I even manage to find something negative to say. Please don’t slice my throat in my sleep.

Episode 10: How stars buy fake friends

Nearly two weeks after I first revealed that LeAnn Rimes probably bought 100,000 new friends on Twitter, you kids are still all a-scandalized. And a-curious about exactly what 100,000 fake Twitter friends can do for a girl these days.

No problem! In my latest podcast, I wrangled a special guest: Lisa Jenkins, an expert on celebrities and social media. I made her sit in a chair and drink champagne and answer your follow-up questions on this very topic. 

Jenkins also co-hosts her own podcast, The Nerd Out, about all things dweebgirl. It’s a must-listen. Not that you’re going anywhere right now, because my new podcast needs your immediate attention. Otherwise you’ll miss still more occult Hollywood knowledge dished up just for you—including answers on why Famke Janssen sounds like Katharine Hepburn all of a sudden, and why you just may be richer than your favorite video game heroine.

Plus, we deliver an epic cage match lorded over by the dark prince of celebrity stalking: Longtime listener Clint!

Episode 9: Cloak & digital—the secret world of 'aesthetic enhancement'

It’s finally here—an episode that was a month in the making! After much cloak-and-dagger intrigue, I am thrilled to bring you the ninth installment of The Fame Fatale, featuring a brand-new, top-secret source we shall call... Deep Pixel. 

Deep Pixel’s job is so hush-hush, so sensitive, that Hollywood’s elite would really, really rather he not speak to me. But he did anyway. And you’ll be glad he did.

Also in this week’s show: What’s next for St. Angelina of Jolie; why Mad Men and Breaking Bad are better shows than Community, you know, empirically speaking; and the return of the infamous Cage Match, in which Baby Vegas tries to sell me on the importance of That Dude From The Mindy Project...and fails.

You won’t want to miss that. Or, at least, you won’t want to miss Deep Pixel. The Cage Match thing is a little subjective.

Episode 8: Blake Shelton, shill of beans

This week’s episode of The Fame Fatale has nothing to do with Angelina Jolie or her brave decision to share her recent medical journey. But, ha, made you look.

Oh wow: You’re scowling. Don’t get all mad, girl. Why so cold, baby? I brought a present for you, shorty. No, actually, three: Behold, my latest installment, featuring three solid answers to three of your questions about the inner machinations of entertainment and celebrity, including:

• Why Blake Shelton suddenly became the John the Baptist of lattés 
• Why Jennifer Lawrence gets to stay at a resort even when she’s working 
• Whether you need to see Gatsby or not

Plus! I impart one terribly sad blind item that also has nothing to do with Angelina Jolie... and Baby Vegas makes a big, big mistake by comparing himself to a film legend. To my face. Humiliation ensues.

Episode 7: Nerd rage over Star Trek

Just how much truth can I pack into a single, half-hour-and-change podcast episode? Let’s see here: In this brand-new dispatch, I tackle questions from you—yes! you!—about:

• The next Star Trek picture, and why Bulgaria and Malaysia get to see Alice Eve in her underwear before you do. 
• Lindsay Lohan, and why we allegedly have to allege so many allegations every time we talk about her. 
• M. Night Shyamalan, undying zombie director! Why does he keep getting work? Would you believe it may have something to do with the French.

Plus! This week’s very, very special co-host is none other than comedian Guy Branum, a writer for Totally Biased With W. Kamau Bell...and the face of No More Mr. Nice Gay. Only Guy can brave a run-in with both The Leggy Kardashian and The Baldwin Who Loves Jesus, and live to tell about it. Which he does. Right here. On my show.